How did I get so smart?

by Jean
(Vancouver, Canada)

I have discovered recently that I am the smartest person I know.

I did not aspire to this lofty post, nor did I actively seek it on any level. Certainly the honours that come with it are spare and almost non existent, but I am still pretty darn smart.

How do I know that I'm this good? Well, it turns out that when I come home from work, I'm the only person who knows what's for dinner. The rest of my family exists in a pea-soup-like fog asking each other "what's for dinner?". No one knows except me and I'm not telling.

Even if I ask "What would you like?" they don't have the answer to that either. Just "food" is the response.

This extends to cleaning the house, cutting the lawn, or even bringing in the paper. "Who's turn is it to fix this?" Again, I have the answers that no one else seems to have and proclaim with the solemnity of a judge just who is responsible this time. That's not to say that there isn't a lively dispute when I pronounce the verdict but in the end, I have all the answers and they must obey or suffer the consequences.

This brainy persona extends into my work life as well. Apparently, when I go on vacation, all things come to a halt. No one has the same authority, answers or problem solving skills that I apparently have, even though I have endeavoured to share all that I know in the hopes that vacation time may come more frequently than once every 3 years; but it has not worked.

I have always heard that with age comes wisdom but darn it all, I think I'm smart enough now and would like someone else to do the thinking. I answer questions all day from the generation to come and the generation that was and I know that they think I am so darn smart because I have all the answers. They don't know yet that I'm making most of it up as I go along .

One day, I'll ask what they think about that.