Maintaining Intimacy

Maintaining intimacy in a long term relationship can be very difficult for a whole range of reasons. To keep things working we need to spice up relationships rather than let the reasons below rule:

But to have a truly fulfilling relationship, it must include intimacy. This is your life partner. This is the person that cares for and understands you better than any other person on the planet. Maintaining intimacy is what underlines that deep personal connection.

So how do we go about restoring the connection? Below are some suggestions to spice up the relationship with your significant other. Use it as a starting position, and then let your imagination run wild!

So much of our communication on a day to day basis gets reduced to shorthand. We don't explain because we don't need to explain the daily stuff.

But when we need to talk about what we want and what we need from the relationship, it needs time and space. And speak plainly, not in coded language.

If you are tempted to talk like a Barbara Cartland novel simply because saying things out loud is too embarrassing for you, you will end up with a poor result.

Writing him a heartfelt love letter might work better.

You may need to explain to your partner some of the physical changes you are experiencing and talk about solutions you might employ together to overcome them.

You might suggest a joint bath or shower before going to bed together. A refreshing wash before bed is both a compliment to your partner and a wake up oportunity for you. Slough off the day with a shower and climb into bed fresh. It's so much nicer.

Try to make it special in some way. Fresh sheets, flowers in the bedroom, maybe some candles and massage oil. Try something a little different to set a special mood. Make it a bit of a production. Seduce him!

Try to introduce something surprising to the encounter. Spend an evening discovering all the errogenous zones for each other that you have forgotten about, without actually making love or touching obvious spots.

Have you been doing the same routine year after year? Perhaps you are both bored. Suggest something a little different without scaring him! You may be surprised right back.

These are just a few suggestions. I don't know what will work for you, but I do know that if you do nothing, that is exactly what will change, nothing.

And that has to be unsatisfactory for both of you on some level.

Couples who are able to negotiate this phase of their union (because it is a very common hurdle) report a deeply satisfying relationship as a result. It's got to be worth a try.

For more on spicing up your sex life, there is a good article available on specific methods here.

Other articles in the Relationships section:

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