Overcoming FearChange often brings fear, fear of the unknown, fear of what may be required of us. Overcoming fear is a big part of making a successful transition to a third age woman full of confidence.
If we are serious about addressing our self limiting barriers to success, one of the most pervasive must surely be fear; not the life threatening kind, but the paralysing kind. Moving through these pages, moving through this time of your life, you may feel a little fearful. Things are changing and you may not want them to. Some things may have already changed, suddenly, and you may have found yourself unprepared for it. You will never do anything in this world without courage. It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honour. Aristotle When things are changing, being fearful is normal and a signal to us that we should pay attention. But exactly are we fearful of? What are we risking if we move ahead and do the things we want to do, take the chances we want to take? · · · One way to overcome your fear is to arm yourself with knowledge – especially about yourself. It's easy to imagine the worst, but what if we decided to imagine the best? Julia Cameron says in her book The Artist's Way, jump and the net will materialise. Hmmm, not something that is easy to believe, but experiment with it. Take small risks, confront small fears and see what happens. Then take a slightly bigger risk and pay attention to how it feels. Scary before hand...yes. Afterwards? You will feel stronger, empowered and more confident in yourself.
One of my favourite movie scenes is Kathy Bates in 'Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistlestop Cafe'. She was a fearful woman, living a fearful life until she met the Jessica Tandy character in a Nursing home. One day this quiet, fearful woman is beaten to a parking spot she had been waiting for, by two young women in a VW Beetle. As she protested, they laughed and said “We are younger and faster!” Kathy Bates then proceeds to smash her car into theirs repeatedly. When they race back to their car and protest, she simply says, 'I'm older and have more insurance.' It's a wonderful moment and a pivot point for the character in the movie. The point is, is it better to remain frozen with fear rather than to take a chance to experience new things? Only you can say. One of the attributes admired highly (as noted by Aristotle above) is courage. And what is courage but one person deciding to face their fear and go forward anyway, usually in support of a cause that they value above the limitations of their own fears? A situation that can generate fear may at the same time generate other emotions, such as anticipation, pride or delight. If we always stop in the face of fear, we can’t experience the subsequent emotions that may lead us to the next, wonderful level in our lives. Fear needs to be seen as a natural step on the way to a desired result. It is a signal that you are about to embark on a journey that is important. A time will come when your relationship to fear will change. Rather than feel fear and see a STOP sign, you will feel fear and anticipate the victory over your next goal. Be gentle with yourself, but insist quietly that you move forward.
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